Imagine if he could pass it on from generation to generation. Imagine if he could have a large network of 'believers' and could indoctrinate them so well that they would all spread the message. To explain to him the kind of conditioning he had received from both the religious and gay communities, I offered this example: 'Imagine that someone starts a new religion now, based on the dogma that eating bread is right and eating rice is wrong. His doubt about his sexuality can be summarised in this sentence: 'If I am not how my family and 'normal' society define me, and I am not like how the gay community wants me to be: Who am I? Am I gay or not?' Bread vs Rice
He was hiding from himself, was afraid of others’ judgments and of revealing himself. In short, no one accepted him for who he was.Ĭonsequently, he felt guilty for his sexual choices and was ashamed to live his sexuality openly. His religious family considered his homosexuality a disease to be cured and the gay community did not understand why he was not behaving like them but more like a heterosexual.
The root of his doubt arose from the fact that he felt like a fish out of water both in his family and in the gay community of which he wanted to be a part.
